Showing posts with label Whatever. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Whatever. Show all posts

Sunday, December 30, 2007

See ya’ in 2008

This is likely to be my last posting for 2007.

And I just feel like sharing one of my favorite pieces by the late Chairil Anwar …

When I started my career in journalism back in the early 80s, I often quoted and discussed this piece with friends in the office.

At the time, we—a bunch of young, foolish and arrogant journalists—thought we were the only ones in the huge office interested in this kind of literary product.

Cheers to the good old days!

DERAI DERAI CEMARA

cemara menderai sampai jauh
terasa hari akan jadi malam
ada beberapa dahan di tingkap merapuh
dipukul angin yang terpendam

aku sekarang orangnya bisa tahan
sudah berapa waktu bukan kanak lagi
tapi dulu memang ada suatu bahan
yang bukan dasar perhitungan kini

hidup hanya menunda kekalahan
tambah terasing dari cinta sekolah rendah
dan tahu, ada yang tetap tidak terucapkan
sebelum pada akhirnya kita menyerah

1949

PINES IN THE DISTANCE

Pines scatter in the distance,
as day becomes night,
branches slap weakly at the window,
pushed by a sultry wind.

I'm now a person who can survive,
so long ago I left childhood behind,
though once there was something,
that now counts for nothing at all.

Life is but postponement of defeat,
a growing estrangement from youth's unfettered love
a knowing there's always something left unsaid,
before we finally acquiesce.

1949

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

December notes…


And now the end (of 2007) is near…and so I face the final curtain (of 2007)…

Today is Dec. 25, the day of Christmas celebration for the Christians throughout the world. In our office, there are quite a number of Christians. I wish them the best and merriest Christmas of all although I know perfectly well that things have been very difficult for them in the last 12 months. Actually, I should have said “for us”—the whole team—as things have been really, really, rocky.

To a certain degree, all those hardships have even begun to affect our relationships, even friendship. I just hope that we—I—will be able to get over it soon so we can start 2008 with a renewed spirit and with something that will eventually lead to a real improvement to our die-hard endeavor to keep our ship floating.

On a more personal basis, I don’t know what has gotten into me in terms of health. Yes, I’m still blessed with the ability to professionally move things around despite what some people described as “incredible obstacles.” But, of course, there are also friends who have always been ready to lend a helping hand, without whom I don’t think I will survive this far.

However, in the last two months, I have to undergo a relatively lengthy medical treatment for my reproductive organ problem and asthma, reminding me of my “vulnerability” as well as “obligations” to take better care of my body (and soul?) if I wanted to take part in the activities to better move things around me.

I’m also glad that my first daughter managed to obtain her university degree as scheduled. The next challenge obviously is to compete in the job market. I can only wish her all the best although as a mom—probably not even a good mom—of course, I will never cease to give her all the necessary supports.

My nephew is going to get married early next year. It is supposed to be a big event in the family and I wish I could have supported him in a much more “meaningful way.” However, as some people say: there is always a gap between what we want to do and what the situation hands us.

On my way to the office this afternoon, the traffic was so smooth. It didn’t even feel like a Jakarta traffic. Apparently, it won’t be until the first week of January that all the congestion will reappear.

Things look and sound very quiet out there… From where I sit now, I can only see several tired faces … for which I think I have only myself to blame.

Sigh… what a night, what a Christmas …


Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Night Shifter

Tentang pekerja shift malam dan tentang lain-lain...

It was once scientific heresy to suggest that smoking contributed to lung cancer. Now, another idea initially dismissed as nutty is gaining acceptance: the graveyard shift might increase your cancer risk.

Next month, the International Agency for Research on Cancer, the cancer arm of the World Health Organization, will classify shift work as a "probable" carcinogen.

That will put shift work in the same category as cancer-causing agents like anabolic steroids, ultraviolet radiation, and diesel engine exhaust.

If the shift work theory proves correct, millions of people worldwide could be affected. Experts estimate that nearly 20% of the working population in developed countries work night shifts.

Di atas adalah paragraf-paragraf awal dari suatu tulisan panjang yang disiarkan The Associated Press baru-baru ini. Intinya: pekerja shift malam cenderung lebih mudah terkena kanker. Setidaknya demikian temuan suatu studi ilmiah di Amerika Serikat.

Artikel yang cukup membuat aku berpikir ulang tentang “gaya hidup” yang aku jalani selama ini, yang, memang sama sekali tidak bisa digolongkan pada “gaya hidup sehat.”

Baru-baru ini dokter umumku, Dr. Tony Iman, menganjurkan aku untuk menjalani pemeriksaan hematologi lengkap. Sesuatu yang sampai tulisan ini kubuat, belum juga kulakukan.

Ada kekhawatiran bahwa akan banyak sekali masalah terkait kesehatan yang terungkap jika aku melakukan itu—dan pada saat ini, aku sama sekali tidak siap untuk menerima informasi tentang masalah-masalah yang sangat mungkin ada tersebut.

Di satu pihak aku memang praktis seorang fatalis, di lain pihak aku juga khawatir untuk menerima “kenyataan-kenyataan” buruk karena begitu banyak (utang) pekerjaan yang masih harus aku selesaikan.

Mungkin dalam beberapa waktu ke muka—saat aku sudah merasa lebih "nyaman"—aku akan menjalani pemeriksaan hematologi itu. Baru beberapa jam lalu aku menyadari, ada suatu laboratorium klinik yang terletak sangat dekat dari kantorku yang bisa kudatangi. Mungkin—ya, mungkin—aku akan mengunjungnya dalam beberapa hari ini.

Entah mengapa, rasanya aku belum benar-benar “sanggup” saat ini. Barangkali karena baru akhir bulan lalu aku berhenti berkunjung terus-menerus selama dua minggu ke rumah sakit untuk menjalani diatermi. Bukan proses yang menyenangkan karena seolah mengingatkan aku lagi betapa “rawan”-nya diriku ini oleh penyakit tertentu karena ibuku, kakekku, kakakku, semua meninggal dunia karena kanker.

Sebulan lalu dengan “terpaksa” setelah nyaris 10 tahun tak pernah berurusan dengan ginekolog aku harus menjumpai Dr. H. Muki Reksoprodjo, SpOG, yang lebih duapuluh tahun lalu membantu kelahiran kedua putriku.

Hasilnya: ya diatermi tadi! Selain obat-obatan yang sungguh menyiksa karena menimbulkan rasa mual luar biasa sementara setiap malam aku harus bergelut dengan tulisan, tulisan dan tulisan—dalam bahasa Inggris pula! Bahasa yang kadang sangat kurasakan manfaatnya karena dalam banyak hal “lebih ekspresif” dibanding bahasa Indonesia. Namun, kadang juga membuatku bertanya-tanya: masih bisakah aku menghasilkan tulisan yang mudah dicerna dalam bahasa Indonesia. [Jangan salah dan mengartikannya sebagai bahwa bahasa Inggrisku “sungguh baik dan benar”—bagaimanapun aku tidak pernah mempelajari bahasa tersebut secara formal.]

Catatan ini kutulis dalam bahasa Indonesia sebagai bagian dari upayaku untuk mencaritahu apakah benar—sebagai dikatakan beberapa teman—tulisanku dalam bahasa Indonesia serasa ditulis oleh orang yang bukan berbahasa ibu bahasa Indonesia. Alamak!

Kembali ke soal diatermi tadi…Pada saat tulisan ini kubuat, sudah lengkap aku jalani. Aku juga sudah menemui Dr. Muki kembali dan ia hanya mengatakan “semua sudah mengempis dan radang sudah mulai hilang.” Selanjutnya, “ya, kontrol rutin.”

Kedengarannya memang ringan: kontrol rutin. Tapi buat aku yang terbiasa mengabaikan keluhan fisik, hal itu bisa menjadi perkara besar. Terlalu kuat godaan yang harus aku hadapi untuk TIDAK melakukannya meski berulang-kali Muki menyatakan “being careful jauh lebih baik daripada being careless.” [Kutipan verbatim! Dia menggunakan bahasa Inggris untuk mengeskpresikan isi kepalanya! He, he, he….]

Baiklah, rasanya memang masih harus dilihat apakah aku akhirnya akan benar-benar terdorong melakukan kontrol rutin DAN menjalani pemeriksaan hematologi lengkap dalam waktu dekat.

Yang pasti hari-hari belakangan ini memang membuat aku banyak mengilas balik momen-momen tertentu dalam perjalananku. Teman-teman yang belakangan memberi begitu banyak warna pada kehidupanku: mereka yang hingga detik ini masih berupaya mempertahankan apa yang kita coba bangun bersama lebih setahun lalu: BN, HK, CJ, BZ, IK plus semua di newsroom dan unit umum, administrasi / keuangan, GF yang sekarang sedang berjuang melawan kanker dan setiap menit selalu ada dalam doaku dan doa teman-teman, DP, MN, PD di IMD Raden Saleh serta AP, SL, PS, PC, di SCHS Kuningan.

Tentu banyak pula nama-nama sebelum mereka yang juga memperkaya rute yang sudah kutempuh, terutama di ANT (tempat di mana aku pertama kali bekerja secara profesional dan juga tempat yang mendepakku keluar 12 tahun kemudian).

Ingat dad, mom, elder sis [oops, again English words!] dan banyak lagi sehingga kemudian muncul pertanyaan apakah kehadiranku selama ini di antara mereka semua juga meninggalkan jejak—dan yang lebih penting lagi apakah jejak itu baik atau buruk?

Aku, tentu saja, tidak bisa menjawabnya sendiri. Tapi memang aku masih harus mengerjakan banyak hal yang seharusnya sudah jauh lebih awal aku lakukan.

Sementara itu, hari-hari di muka, tampaknya masih harus aku lalui dengan sangat susah payah, including as a night-shifter who is prone to cancer [….he, he, he can’t help to write it down in English. But do forgive me, this is, at least for now, the final sentence after all.]

Friday, November 16, 2007

Being ripped off by doctors!

Down below is something I copied and pasted from “Café Salemba”…
Very interesting, especially after recently I tried to interview Dr.H. Muki Reksoprodjo, SpOG, president director of the MMC Hospital in South Jakarta and he REFUSED.

He said he had nothing to say when it came to “hospital management” and he, after all was, a “bad manager” and that another reason was—despite being a par excellence Javanese—he preferred to speak matter-of-factly about things and this in the end might hurt “the powers-that-be.”

Ah yes, he also mentioned about the fact that his wife was the chair of the Women's International Club and he did not want to make it look like he was up and ready to share his views with the international community especially because the interview would be published in English!

Well, so much so for turning down an interview request. But it’s not that I don’t know about his position with regards to hospital management and more importantly about hospital SERVICES.

Still I’m glad that he was willing to share some of his opinions about the role Health Ministry as the regulator of the country’s hospital industry—off the record!

But, I’ve done my researches and actually—although in a very on-and-off basis—I’ve been virtually following him for probably over 20 years … since he helped me with the birth of my two daughters.

So I think I—more or less—know what he has in mind

I also know that he did make statements which might be very irking in the ears of the authorities. Someday, when I have the time I think I will share them with some people … Not now…

In the mean time, have a look at this piece written by “rizal” from Café Salemba …

How many of you are damn sure that whenever you go to those fancy hospitals and health clinics in Jakarta, without medical insurance in hand, you are not ripped off by those, favorite, doctors? That, somehow, you feel that your headache is not that bad, but then you find yourself ended up into unecessary expensive procedures as well as pricey medicines? That you are sure that caesarean section is indeed in dire need, and not the way obstetricians make extra money off you? And—this is is the worst—that they really know what's going on inside your body?

But since you have no expertise in medical science, the only option for you is to shut your mouth up, and let the experts decide your fate. Worse still, they are the one who not only diagnose, but also will be paid for further treatment.

The same thing goes for laptop repair, or car mechanics. And this guy, Henry Schneider of Cornell, took the challenge to prove whether car mechanics, in 40 Connecticut garages, don't swindle their costumers. The result: only 20 percent pass the test.

I hope somebody's gonna hire economists to do the same undercover research for health services here in Jakarta, or Indonesia, instead of relying on anecdotal evidences and finger-pointing game on doctor's malpractices. Schneider's paper and model is not technically too complicated to replicate for our case.

I am looking forward to it.

Monday, November 12, 2007

MMC

It was not until recently that I decided to go to MMC not because somebody I knew was hospitalized there. I came to the hospital because I needed to. I didn't know where else I could reach Muki Reksoprodjo, the only obsgyn I could--actually "can" is the better word--feel comfortable with.

So, for the very first time, I registered myself at MMC, was given a card that cost me Rp25,000 or something and, was finally "allowed" to see Dr. Reksoprodjo. The whole process cost almost half a million rupiah, quite a large amount by my standard today.

Gee, how I hate hospitals! Even if it is called MMC where some of my friends have undergone treatments as in-patients.

I know quite a lot of very important people have been treated--or have died--there. Still, a hospital is a hospital, something I will always try to avoid "to the best of my ability."

You can imagine how relieved I'm when finally Dr. Reksoprodjo said that the only thing I needed to do (unless of course I felt something "very unusual" with "that" particular part of my body) was to have a regular check-up.

Well, at least one of my sources of headache is gone, at least for now.

But still it cannot erase the facts that there are still so many things that I must do ... and I better be hurry in finishing them because what has happened in the last 10 months did remind me of "mortality"--kefanaan.

Something I found on my recent internet journey...

... that probably reflects the company my friends and I are desperately trying to keep floating!

good ship

we shall build a good ship here
at a profit if we can
at a loss if we must
but ... always a good ship

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Pheeeww....

Seharian ini aku merasa luar biasa mual. Entah karena apa...mungkin diathermy-ku, mungkin obat-obatan yg harus kuminum, mungkin juga "suasana hati"-ku secara keseluruhan....

Bahkan rasanya aku harus berjuang ekstra keras hanya untuk menuliskan dua editorial untuk edisi esok. Hingga pukul 19.00 aku baru menyelesaikan satu di antaranya. Even then, it was not something that I could be proud of...

Oh ya, hari ini rupanya Muki gak praktek...Something that has made me slightly relieved...paling gak, kalo aku hrs nunggu dua, tiga hari lagi, aku akan merasa lebih "siap"...

Melihat newsroom, aku gak tau apa aku hrs kasihan atau hrs luar biasa bangga pada teman-teman (termasuk mereka yg di unit art dan paginasi) for sticking with us despite all the uncertainties that are still looming in the air....

Tampaknya tak seorangpun bisa memprediksi hari-hari yg akan kita lalui ke depan. Apakah "semangat" saja cukup memadai? Rasanya koq gak adil juga kalo meminta semua utk terus menjaga semangat dlm suasana seperti ini....

Aku mungkin tdk punya pilihan lain krn ini kan 'a mixture of everything': business, passion, idealims, hobby, the only thing we professionally know and care about, ego...you name it, laahh...

OK, It's almost 11 now. Time to pack things up and go home. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Paling tidak rasa mual-ku yg luar biasa bisa agak berkurang dan aku bisa tidur agak lelap.

Nite everybody!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Waakkkk....Gotta see M.R. tomorrow

Waak....time to see Muki Reksoprodjo tomorrow...Meaning I have to get up early in the morning, get ready, and get myself off to MMC in Kuningan....

If only I still worked for the European Union's SCHS Project, a trip to MMC would have been easier....

Now that I'm stupid enough to try to keep my latest venture floating, reaching MMC from my home, or even my office, is already a struggle in itself...

Gee, I don't know what's he's gonna say tomorrow. I can only hope--or pray?--that nothing is "very wrong" with me.

Meantime, I still have two diathermy to go...

Sunday, November 4, 2007

In retrospect

... a.k.a. Kilas balik

Tanpa terasa sdh lebih 20 tahun berlalu sejak aku kerap berurusan dgn obsgyn. Dua puluh tahun tanpa kunjungan reguler, artinya tanpa check-up apapun. Sampai baru-baru ini aku merasa perlu melakukannya lagi, kala usia menginjak paruh kedua dr era "40s"-ku dan anak-anakku sdh memasuki usia 20-an mereka.

Agak terkejut jg menyaksikan bgmana my obsgyn has aged. Dan kemudian sadar bahwa kalau aku saja sdh di babak 40s, tentunya dia jg dia sdh di babak 60s. Usia yg cukup senior utk ukuran Indonesia.

Tiba-tiba saja ini jg menyadarkanku--lagi--tentang kefanaan, mortalitas, sesuatu yg sebenarnya sdh mulai terpikir secara sangat serius ketika aku menginjak usia pertengahan 30s.

Kunjungan terkiniku mengantarkanku pd sederet proses pengobatan yg sampai hal ini kutulis masih berlangsung.

Dlm proses ini pula aku menyadari adanya perubahan di kalangan pasien--dan perawat rumah sakit--di mana obsgynku berpraktek. Banyaknya kaum yg kuistilahkan sebagai "the jilbabers".

Duapuluh tahun lalu--dan aku sgt pasti akan hal ini--tak satupun pasien obsgynku (yg konon salah satu obsgyn paling laris en terkenal di negeri ini)--mengenakan jilbab, apalagi para perawatnya.

Skrg, plg tidak separuh dr pengunjung tetapnya adalah para "jilbabers" sementara satu, dua perawat yg umumnya sdh senior adalah pemakai jilbab juga. Pemandangan yg sungguh membuatku bertanya-tanya: What has actually happened in the last 20 years in terms of spirituality of the Indonesian people?

Kilas balik apa yg hrs kulakukan utk memahami fenomena ini?